footstep

"Yeah, just throw a suitcase on top of the bridesmaid's dress. We don't need to worry about wrinkles.

And throw one on top of the lamp shade, too. It won't dimple easily.

Ok, yeah, I kinda wanted to give Grandma her Mother's Day card from me myself, but, sure, you go ahead and do it. When I'm not in the room.

But I do insist you give me back the dave matthews band concert tickets you just took out of their hiding place and snuck into your purse. No, I do trust you, Mom."

And a classic all-time favorite:

"No, I don't think you should let your pet chinchilla run around the house. Why? Because rodents, unlike many more common household pets such as dogs and cats, cannot be trained to be discriminating about where they poop. Neither do most common household pets poop every twenty seconds. Clean it up? Yes, that's a good idea. No, not with your bare hands!"

Jaysus. My mother, the uncleanliest of any roommate I've ever had.